Senior Pastor of David Christian Centre, Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo is notable for his messages on relationship, dating, and marriage. In his recent preaching, he talked about dating syndromes. He said that dating syndromes are behavioral patterns exhibited that are destructive to relationships and unknown to the person in question.
These syndromes can be only be cured by taking responsibility for your love life. There are people who believe that love controls them. This is not true. As humans, we have to control over how we love. It is not just a feeling. Pastor Okonkwo quoted Colossians 3:2 to buttress his point.
"Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth".
Our affections can be controlled. The preacher also listed out some syndromes to drive home his message.
1. The ‘I am worried about him' syndrome:
There are people who are naturally attracted to their ex. They cannot do without talking about their past relationships. If you want to go far in life, you have to let go of past relationships.
"Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert". Isaiah 43:18-19.
2. The beggar syndrome:
This category has people who are dependants. They live off your finances. It is pertinent to note that it is not only the women who are prone to this behavior. Men are also into it. Relationships for them are an opportunity to beg their partners for money. All the things they are begging for, they can actually get it by themselves.
3. The blind syndrome:
There are people who just jump into a relationship for no tangible reason. They are totally blind.
4. The doctor syndrome:
Pastor Kingsley stated that this group of people with this syndrome is always attracted to sick people. Sick does not mean physically sick but people that always have problems. There are people that are always attracted to people that have problems in their lives.
That's all that attracts them. The more horrible those peoples situations, the more attracted they are to those people.
5. The converters:
There are some people who believe that they can change their partners. With this believe, they date unbelievers with the hope that they will convert him or her.
The bible admonishes Christians not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. However, some people, especially ladies, believe that they will convert and marry him. Pastor Kingsley advised against such behavior. He said:
"My sister you are not the Holy Spirit. Your name might be comfort but you are not the comforter. You cannot convert and marry. If you could convert, you could have converted all the sinners in this world. People don't change just because you want to deceive them and pressure them to change for your own selfish purpose. Only the Holy Spirit can truly change someone.
"He is a drunkard and wife beater, you are thinking you can change him. He is a very violent and very aggressive person; you are thinking you will change him. Most women have this vision of changing who they want to marry and they always get a shocker when they marry.
"The person even gets worse than before because now they've achieved the project and they are no longer under any obligation to impress you; they have already married you. Stop thinking you can convert anybody.
"All the signs of a bad marriage, they show from the beginning stage. The signs are there but you want to pretend that you can carry it on."
The convert syndrome must be worked on before any healthy relationship can thrive.
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